Tuesday, May 21

Which Street Fighter are you?
Test by Nathan

Ach, i am too lazy to upload the broken images. :P

I got an commission to do a drawing for a lady. She wants a tattoo so she asks me to design a spread-eagle black crow with a hand inside with a swirl on its palm.
Whew, a lot of details, haha so wish me luck to make my first commission.

I totally *SLACK* more than normally. I totally dread school. I totally dread the bus. I totally dread the morning the most. I can't wait for the school to be over.. in like 3 weeks. The worst of all- i have to work harder now due to my finals, memorybook creating and many more. Why why everything have to happen in last few weeks of school. UGH.

steven is being difficult with me. Maybe I was being difficult to him... I dont know. We are just being difficult to eachother. We headbutted on everything. i mean, EVERYTHING. it is surprised that we still like eachother after all. I felt bad that we kept constantly fighting about everything. It is not supposed to be all about fights, you know, in a relationship. but somehow our fights brought us closer... in a way. But it is the most painful way to learn eachother's boundaries and past. I think I kept starting the problems.. i dont know. I felt it is mine since my last ex kept getting upset and blurted out that I always had to start some kind of problem out of blue when we were going greatly. So maybe that is something of a bad habit that I carried with me. I snap at everybody who is new to me. then soon they got accustomed to my btichness, I got more funny and nice to them. one of my friends actually called me a snapping turtle since I snapped at Steven and people around me for no reason whatsoever.

It is hard to open up to him since he kept saying that I am negative. I was like, "Um, i am opening up to you so please don't call me names already" i was so hurted and withdrew my openess and he got upset and said taht I have changed. I looked at him and said that I was getting being myself, not changing. I was just starting to surface with my true self and now he didn't like it? Fine, i am diving back into the dark abyss and dwell there forever. No more showing my true self. I am sick of people staring in confusion and think that I am a freak case. Fuck them.

Nobody understand that this is not me. I am not some stupid fuck pom-pom blonde who smiles all beacuse she has no brain. I am just this fuckedup girl who doesn't feel the necessary to smile in this fuckedup world.

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