Monday, October 7

Abandonment Issue of mine

I am copying and pasting from my compose in my pager to my boyfriend so pardon the typos and misgrammar, this was typed at midnight in the dark and I was VERY tired. I just feel like sharing this about my "abandoning" issue.

The email before this was explaining to my boyfriend about an incident that I did got lost at the zoo during my summer day-camp trip when I was like 8 yrs old. so this one kind of expanded the incident and what happened.
Subject:re[2]: Did you know?
I remembered it clearly. I was looking at gorillas for long time. Then I was
wondering where my [hearing] group and why stay there too long. So I walked out
and looked around. NOBODY. I started to get worried and walk back to the "cage"
and looked around. Then I started to cry but quietly because I don't know what to
do and I was scared of people talking to me and how I tell them that I am
lost.. U know? Then an old lady like 50 yrs old saw me crying and asked me "are you
lost?" lucky I knew how to lipread. I
nodded and she was liek "aw, poor child" and took my hand to walk to food
stand vendors, u know, cart and ask the worker if he can hold me in case my group
come back looking for me. So she left me with young man like 24 yrs old or so,
asian man. Dark skin so many filinpo. He tried to talk to me but I just ignored
and looked at the floor ebcause I felt stupid and embarassed that I was lost.
Then he gave me a free drink. Like 30 mins later or so *it was LONG* my conuslor
[black man, name starting with M] finally found me and walked me back to the gorup. They waslked far away and
finally noticed that I am not with them when they were ready to leave. Stupid. That
is why I hate camps ebcause they always forget kids and not responsible. Ever
since, I always worry to stay with friends and not alone. That is why I hate it
people leaving me alonea

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