Saturday, January 4

School & Races Issues

my winter break is over. I hate school. [sulking] I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL! I WANT TO END THIS MISERABLE BY GRADUATING! .... [sighing] at least I have 5 and half months to go before I streak across the graduation. I have been accepted to a local Art Institue for fall 2003... the letter from SDSU will come in March. Sometime soon, i will have an appointment to talk wiht some dude from some kind of service that may pay for my college tutition. One advantage to be deaf- you get disability money and VR and many more from the government. Whoopee. Rumors that they dont give money to the students who are intereseting in major of arts (performing, visual, etc). if this is true, then i will have a problem with moolah when the college years are coming. I have tried scholarship but there is not much for a white dudette who have a workalcoholic nurse. The only scholarships that I am qualifying for are those academic required 4.0+ GPA. That is pretty much it. I am not part of any fucking clubs at school. I have no color in me. My mom works for a frigging hospital. big whooppee. People with colors are lucky. They can be rich and whatever, they will get money for their fucking skin color. This just fucked up. I do understand that other people have sufferings and hardships beacuse of their colors but here in San Diego- i have NEVER seen any type of discriminations personally. I have heard those who say racial slurs or racist themselves but all of them are not from this city or state. So for me with my life growing up, it is not fair to give out money or sympthay for those who just happen to have the same skincolor with others who have suffered in some other places. It is not fair that those who never suffer or have hard times just happen to get money because their "people" suffer. I am not a racist but if this appears racist to you, then obviously I didn't explain myself clear. sorry to babble. I just hate those ethnic scholarships. WHAT ABOUT US WHO LOVE EVERYBODY DESPITE THE COLORS?!?!? Isn't white a color?? If you think about it, white is kind of a color. In physics, it is a color when you are using lights! red light, blue light and yellow light will make white light! White may not exist in pigment but it exist in LIGHTS! WHITE LIGHT! WE ARE A COLOR, DAMNITTTTTT!

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