Thursday, June 5

Why why WHY ME?!

......[mediating].... 3 more days of school then i am outta until graduation day on the 13th... only three more days with the people... then you can unplug yourself and settle in your world.. yess... three... more... days... UGH. tomorrow i have a final for my infant lab class- no biggie.. just questions that require some common sense, "Should you drop the infant just for the hell of it?" if this takes a while for you to think then prehaps you should take vagina/penis steralization with a serious consideration... then a group discussion in my english about a tale in Canterbury Tales then i am hoping to use that classtime to return my textbooks. I haven't found my government textbook.. SOMEBODY IS SNUBBING ME FOR THE HELL OF IT! SOmebody stole my text on purpose... how pathetic of them if they are actually stealing my gov't text... NERDS! Dork is an extreme different kind compared to nerds... so i am not a nerd... well.. sort of... [thinking] WELL I AM NOT A GOVERNMENT NERD AND THAT IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!! :-P

I am definitly growing adrift from my "peers" at high school. if they don't think so then they obviously need to take another look at our "friendships". i have to admit that i am getting tired of them. They have this some types of... insecurity if i have to put a word on it... about themselves so that kind of screw up the fun times because they are still in their journey to find their "inner" potential or whatsoever. and it kind of drags me down because i am totally stopping give out a helping hand. I did enough to help more than a dozen and none of them use it so screw the rest although i am more open to help and get to know the new people than the familiar people. Familiarity sucks. I need novel stimuli to keep me going being content with myself... yet i want stability. Is that too much to ask?? At some points, i think the answer is "yes".

my plans for this summer- go and visit Heather. that is one sure thing. She is sort of that stable-yet-novel friend. She is familiar, yes but she always has something new to do or talk compared to the familiar people i was commenting on. I also hope on seeing Steven more this summer... if the transportation and school permits him to do so. That is pretty much it. QWhat about yours, guys? Make your plans known on the messageboard. if you don't know where, too bad.

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