..... I am not happy. if nothing happens for me this semster... then... i am transfering out. My only major concern- my cat. I want my cat to go with me wherever i go so... dorms is not an option for me. Tonight i had been thinking out every possible scenarios for each option I am considering.
I could finally find my circle of friends and enjoy my "hearing" world and spread the deaf awareness across the SDSU Campus. i could start up my own deaf club for all deafies to come and socialize. I coudl just happen to bump into more of invisible deafies at SDSU and form a good friendship. I can transfer to CSUN or RIT (Gally is out of the question)... i could live off campus at CSUN and hang out with people who live in DORMS yet i will be able to keep my cat with me... but no family. No support. What if i am not good for CSUN? What if the people are not my types? Then CSUN will be totally a waste of the time. spring semester, visiting? RIT? EYF? RIT? Winter? Snow? Apt afforadable? Apt allows a cat? RIT> good for me? Too snobby, too "newyorker" for me just the same as CSUN as too "Los-Angelan"? No college is good for me ever. I will get kicked out of my house. Living on the streets, try to fend some changes to get some scraps of food. Worthless dirty uneducated bitchy bum. I hate you all.
I hate you all, really. My cat is my only loyal friend. Nobody is ever going to be good enough for me. [rocking in a fetal position] I will die alone. All because i just hate people. I am digging myself into a deep shithole. I hate people. I want my man. Not THAT man you thought that was my man. I hate him. He sucks. i want somebody... dark. exotic. foergin. Loves me to death. Knows what I am talking about. Totally supports me. My best Friend. I need some booty.
[crawling into her pityful world where everybody is banished from; and there she dies]