Sunday, October 12

........[staring]

This last weekend has given me a lot of thinking about my life/future.

One frightened thing over the weekend is.. the fact that i am considering about abandoning the art and go into the law. Yes. I have been subconsciously thinking about being a lawyer. I haven't thought of it seriously until now as i type out this thought... hmmph. It has do with the fact that somebody in the law office has offered me a job ready for me when i turn 18 and he did add that the company, where the job offer is at, will pay for the college education if one is majoring in law and so on. The job offer comes with a SALARY. No experience needed. HOW rad is this?? The only requirement for the job is the ability to type over 30 WPM... [SCOFFING!] I average 60 WPM *they always subtract pts if I make an typo...*...
A little off-track, I think those typing tests are biased. Because personally, i do type fast than the "score" would say because I know what word I am spelling out and so on and it enables me to type fast but on a test... i am typing out a paragraph that I NEVER read before or there are several words I don't know the definition; that ends up paralyzing me to type the typos or slowing down... so therefore, I firmly believe that the typing tests provided by companies or whatnot with a paragraph the test-taker never sees before are BIASED with the accurate WPM.

I have been thinking and decided to not going to drink at all for rest of my life... well, with several expectations if needed (honeymoon, wedding, or on my deathbed, i will drink myself to death or something like that, lol) but I would like to not consider myself as a social drinker at all anymore. So that would put a damp on my "social life" who is consisted of bunch of college/drinker people. [shrug] I just don't see any point in drinking at all. Sure, your excuse would be "drinking is FUN and it breaks the ice" but... I dont need to break any ices nor having fun. Hmmph, so people drink to have intoxicated fun that they will forget and end up having a killer hangout in the next morning. Where is the fun in that? Where is the fun to have people taking advantage of your drunkness and fucking you over and then leaving you behind? What is so fun about acting so sheepish stupid in front of all friends of yours? The only fun being drunk is with the alcoholics.
Fuck the alcoholics. Have your fun and wait a couple of decades to see if it is all worth it. I dont want to live my life in regrets at all. I want to live my life to the fullest AND being able TO REMEMBER every moment of it.

It is hard to hang out with my age group who are currently experminting with drinking themselves to their culprits and screwing up their lifes with mistakes and regrets. I think I grew up too fast. I think I want too much that can't come until I am legal. I think people that are legal are not taking full advantages of their rights and privelleges. [voting, getting a real job, tattoo, et etc etc etc mostly- INDPENDENCE AND RESPONSIBILITY].... I am so frustated with people who are not THINKING. [shaking her head]... but alas, that is my drawback, isn't it? I am being a prude about my principles that I dont let myself loose and "have fun" anymore, eh, folks? [rolling her eyes] People sure don't know me at all. Everybody know a part of my life well but they miss out the other part of my life that they are stuck wiht their biased judgement of who I am. I dont tell my friends everything I do because I think it is rude to ramble on about the fun I am having that they aren't with me. So I tend to incline my experiences where the receiver doesn't acknowledge or share at all. I wish everybody has that approach because one of my BIG pet peeve is to hear people rambling on about their everyday life. "Oh I went out with this and we went to that and then i barf at there and blahblah"..... How am I supposing to express any interest if I don't know who you are talking or WHERE you are talking about? [sighing] People!


I think the only guy that I can stand is the guy that already graduated from a college. Hmmph that would definitly call for an extreme age gap... But if this guy is everything I want in a guy then i wouldn't mind a ... decade age gap.. lmao.

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