Monday, February 23

"Religion is the opiate of the people"
"She puts id in yid and I put oy in goy."

Portnoy's Complaint by Philip Roth is a good book to read. >:)

On the president's weekend, SDSU doesn't observe the holiday....
So on that morning, as I was collecting my school text books, my mom woke up and saw me all dressed up at 6:30. She asked, "where are you going?" I looked at her and said, "school" with a "well, duh!" expression on my face. She was taken back and frowned as she said, "but it is presidents' day today, so it is a holiday." I rolled my eyes and said, "well, they don't care abt dead presidents so I have to go to classes today!" mom laughed and said that she felt sorry for me since she was ON her day off from work. It is a first where she is taking a day off and I AM NOT.... Usually I am the one to say byebye to mom as she heads to work on the holidays.

I found out from my interp that the AS (assoication of students) voted to have no president day weekend because they want to honor Martin Luther King and Cesear Chavez as observed holidays instead.. Guess they got fed up with white dead people and wanted to add some variety to our holidays :) it is cool to have that respect and equality but .... STILL!! Grumbles grumbles.... It is not fun to have people mocking the fact they r having days off... Well don't worry- we can mock them that we finish school earlier! Bwahahhahaahaa!

a little joke via email from my friend, "Luna"......
How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?

1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
4. Rottweiler: Make me.
5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeze, please, please, please!
7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?
10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ...
13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
14. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle ...
15. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes re-wiring the house, my nails will be dry.

The Cat's Answer: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"


What is a Cat?
1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
7. They're moody.
8. They leave hair everywhere.

CONCLUSION: They're tiny women in little fur coats.

What is a Dog?
1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room.
3.They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
4.They growl when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play, they want to play.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They leave their toys everywhere.
8. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.
9. They go right for your crotch as soon as they
meet you.

CONCLUSION: They're tiny men in little fur coats.

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