Sunday, August 28

Another Bus Story

I was 8th grader, riding the school bus (as usual), to Madison High School for summer school. (A Side Note: during the summer, d/Deaf middle-schoolers and high-schoolers are usually clustered together in one school to save the troubles of having school buses and interpreters being sent to two separate schools. ) I think it was the first day of summer school. I always knew the kids on my bus so I was anticipating my friend "A" and he was on my route. So we were sitting in the back of the schoolbus, chattering with excitment to catch up with all news that either of us may have missed in last two weeks . After we both had been saturated contently with all latest news, we sat back and looked outside.

Something memorable happened...

He looked to me and said: "I don't feel good." I asked him what was wrong; "I think I ate too much this morning." I asked him what did he had-- maybe something set him off. "Well, I always have BIG breakfast. My mom made me scrambled eggs, toasts, and little franks..."
I replied: "that sounds like a good breakfast."
... he continued: "I did have two drinks-- one of milk and another of OJ... then I ended it with a bowl of cereal."
I scruntized my nose and went: "Jesus, that is a HUGE breakfast! I barely can eat a bowl of cereal!" He began to groan and grabbed his abs. "Do you need to throw up?" I inquired nervously.
"I don't know... my stomach hurts... I think I need to go to the bathroom.."
"Well, Madison is only 15 minutes away. But I don't know how many more kids we are getting... maybe 25 minutes."
"Oh boy. I REALLY NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!" He then started to stomp and shook his fists in frustration.
"ARE YOU SERIOUS? You have to HOLD IT in!"
"I KNowwwwwwww... it HURT.. I swear to God, I won't eat that much ever again!"
The next thing took me by surprise: a foul stench. "DID YOU FART, A ?!?!"
"I AM SORRY! I JUST CANNOT HOLD IT IN! Too much gas... I think it is from the OJ and the eggs..."
"I don't think it is just them-- the WHOLE breakfast! Maybe you are lactose-intolerant."
"What is lactose-intolerant?" Another stench has been released. Other kids on the bus started to look around to find the guilty party.
"Lactose-intolerant is when you cannot digest milk. You drank a glass and a BOWL of milk.."
"OH man..." his face squeezed and another release of repugant stench triggered palpitating stomach actions to enable a body to vomit...
"MY GOD! I NEED AIR!" I opened up a window full down (Usually most bus drivers said ONLY halfway down... But I think by this time the driver was GLAD to have windows DOWN).

...Several minutes went by with his contrictions of his sphincter and everybody's olfactory nerves being tyrannized....

"I cannot HOLD it in anymore" He screamed. My eyebrows furrowed with fear.
"MADISON IS ONLY TWO BLOCKS AWAY! DON'T YOU DARE TO DO IT HERE! IT IS GROSS!"
"I am sorry Kirsi!" He whimpered as the feculence sludge was being spotted sliding out of his shorts...
"IS THAT SHIT?!" I screamed, "I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU JUST SHITTED ON YOURSELF!"

Within the next nanosecond, the bus pulled into the school parking lot and the kids on the bus ran out fast of the bus upon its stop so they can just to grab a wisp of fresh air. I walked slowly from the back of a bus: "A, do you want me to get you somebody... something?"
He nodded: "a new pair of shorts." I cringed and turned to the driver and informed him that an accident happened in the back. I stepped off the bus, looking back to my defeated friend looking up woefully to the driver's shocking expressions.

The next image I remembered was seeing him walking as if he got bowl legs while a school nurse guided him onto the campus... I cannot imagine what happened to the bus driver as he faced to the pile lying on the floor and probably on the seat.

Everybody on campus were bugging me about why was A walking funny.
"Uh, shit happens, I guess."

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