Friday, December 2

Vittu Voi?

'Tis storytelling time after a friend pested me about posting another story! :) I have made a list of all stories to tell, but not all at once! I gotta have something left over to keep you people coming back! ;)

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I think it was for my fifteenth or sixteenth birthday when my mom decided to get me a novel-- from Finland.. all pages in Finnish-- a language that my mother failed to teach me and my brother, the American outcasts.
I was taken back by this foreign book... even though I was accustomed to be given Finnish (that have been translated!) books but an actual Finnish novel?! I rolled my eyes: "Mom, have you realized that I don't know Finnish?!" She decided to be whimsical and said: "well, you can start now. It is about a boy of your age going through the tumbles and frustation of life. It is a very good book! Practice your Finnish with that book!"
I glared and replied back: "Well you are at work all the time, so I will need a new Finnish-English dictionary!!" (a sidenote: the only Finnish-English dictionary we have is the one my mother brought over when she moved to Canada...that book was published in 1961 and is very worn-out... many words are outdated. Which reminded me, I did find out what my name meant in that outdated dictionary-- "Kirsi: frost on the ground"... Wonderful, wonderful Mother, why don't you name me "Frost" instead?!) My mother continued to be a smart-aleck and protested which she claimed she would teach me.
I raised my eyebrow and said: "allright, why don't we start RIGHT NOW?" and flipping through the pages... my mother lent over with a smirk on her face... I used my finger to guide my eyes to find a word that I wanted her to "teach" me...
"There. What does that mean?" I stopped guiding my finger to this word: Vittu.
...Looking back, I realized how her reaction was approriate and how HILARIOUS it was... so I will proceed you through this as if you are watching a slow-mo scene... My mother's eyes widened and her lips started to tighten into that horrible curl that my brother and I hated to see whenever she wanted us to know that she's mad at us. Her eyes shot up to me where her eyes started to beam lasers onto me. Little I did know was that I was pointing out the worst Finnish word ever-- the worst "bad word" ever in the language all over in Finland.
She shook her head as she stumbled... at this moment I thought I would take the opportunity to justify my tantrum: "Well, SEE! Mom, you cannot teach me words if you won't help me! That's why I need new Finnish books to learn from, because you never have time to teach me!" She huffed and stopped her little laser-beam stance and replied swiftly: "it means fuck." Simple as that. Direct and... coherent.
I froze... but for not long because soon then I started to giggle. "Oh?! It... I... I didn't know that!" She squinted her eyes and turned away. I suppressed my giddly laughter as I walked away with this... trophy in a form of a bound book for the ultimate victory: I made my own mother teaching me a curse word in Finnish!

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